


Not If It's You

by jessaverant



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Descriptions of Blood, F/F, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, S5EP5 Save The Cat, Some nice cuddly Best Friend Squad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:00:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24579451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessaverant/pseuds/jessaverant
Summary: What happened after Adora saved Catra and brought her back to Darla. | An exploratory fic set between the Season 5 episodes "Save the Cat" and "Taking Control"
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 315





	Not If It's You

**Author's Note:**

> I watched 'Save the Cat' and immediately said 'this, but what if it got really angsty?' And then wrote that. Slight canon diversion because we didn't see any blood on-screen, but that's what fanfic is for.

_Pylades: I’ll take care of you._ _  
__Orestes: It’s rotten work._   
_Pylades: Not to me. Not if it’s you._

― **Anne Carson, Euripides**

—-

She did it.

Adora had saved — and healed — Catra. Huddled together on Darla’s main deck, bathed in starlight, they were saved. Everything else melted away from Adora’s vision; there was only Catra. Only her smell, her touch, the sound of her breathing against Adora’s neck.

The relief that flowed through her limbs was pure bliss. It was the only thing holding her up as the exhaustion threatened to topple them both to the floor. Catra, yes, _her Catra,_ was here. Alive. _Alive._ Adora couldn’t stop the tears, even if she tried.

But the feeling was short-lived.

Catra’s fists, curled tightly against Adora’s back, suddenly gave way. They slid limply against her back, down to her sides. The head tucked into Adora’s shoulder lulled, and she froze. _No no no no no no no_ trilled through Adora’s mind as the jubilation drained out of her and into the ship’s cold embrace. She caught Catra’s arm as it swung loosely from her shoulders, bruised knuckles grazing the ship’s floor. Catra’s head started falling back and her eyes were closed, her face stained with tears and blood, and Adora was about to scream—

“Adora!” Glimmer cried, and Adora’s head snapped upwards, tears stinging her face. She hadn’t even realized she’d buried her face into Catra’s hair. “Adora, it’s okay!” Glimmer reached out and squeezed Adora’s shoulder, sliding herself closer. Bow was now crouched behind Catra, one hand placed on her back to steady her limp form.

“I think she just passed out,” Bow said, brow furrowed in concern. “She’s breathing. I can feel her heart. It’s okay,” he continued, turning to Adora’s pale face. “Adora, it’s okay. You did it. You saved her. She’s going to live.”

“I—” Adora stammered, but her voice was worn. Her throat was raw. _Had she actually screamed, or had she imagined it? “_ I—I got scared.” Her voice sounded impossibly small to her own ears. She wavered on her knees, arms still trembling. Still clutching Catra. _Still. Still. Still._

“C’mon,” Glimmer said in a gentle voice. “Let her go, Adora. Bow will carry her.” Adora nodded and reluctantly let Bow take Catra from her. Bow gathered the prone figure into his arms, careful to cradle her head, and returned to standing.

“Entrapta? Does Darla have any sort of infirmary?” Bow asked. Entrapta, who had been watching with interest from the command center at the front of the ship with Wrong Hordak, turned to her tablet.

“There are at least three rooms that could function in a medical capacity should the need arise,” Entrapta reported. “One of them has damaged life support, and the other one appears to have a lot of… _stuff_ in it,” she continued, raising one eyebrow. She opened another file to check the life support strength in the last room.

“The third room is optimal. Life support is fully functional. And there’s a bed!” Entrapta looked up with a smile. “That would be the best room for her to recover.” Bow smiled back at her.

“Lead the way,” he said, and Entrapta led him away with Catra still in his arms. During this exchange, Glimmer had sat beside Adora with her arms around her, rubbing her back.

“She’ll be okay,” Glimmer assured her. “We got out of there. Together.”

“Yeah,” Adora said, her voice still feeling too small. Everything suddenly felt too small, too _tight._ Adora looked up at the command center, where Wrong Hordak was standing awkwardly, his eyes sad and confused. She then looked back at the hallway that Bow and Entrapta had disappeared down, and shakily stood.

“Adora?” Glimmer asked.

“I need to help,” Adora said, and with a burst of energy she took off running down the hall.

“Wait, Adora! You need to rest too!” Glimmer cried, but Adora had already disappeared before Glimmer could stop her.

“Bow! Entrapta!” Adora called as she ran down the hallway, surrounded by flickering lights and the low hum of the ship. “Where are you guys?”

“Adora? We’re right here!” Entrapta chirped from three doors down, and gave a small wave. “Are you coming to help Bow?”

“Yes!” Adora said as she arrived at the door. She cleared her throat to remove the tremble from her voice. “Yes. I—it’s better that I help.”

“I agree!” Entrapta said. “The life support isn’t as strong in here as I thought so I have to go boost it, and make sure all our air won’t suddenly turn off!” She grinned at Adora and scampered back to the bridge.

Adora entered the room, her eyes immediately falling onto Catra. Bow had laid her on her back on a thin mattress, and was in the process of washing her face with a rag when Adora had arrived. Seeing Catra lying there, practically motionless, in that white cloak…

A tremor shook through her, dislodging her thoughts. Bow looked up.

“Adora? Are you okay?” he asked, and Adora nodded, forcing herself into the room. As she approached the bed, she could see Catra’s chest rising and falling, hear the breath from her lips. It lightened only some of the anxiety in the pit of her stomach.

“We need to get her out of these clothes,” Adora said, crouching beside Catra’s head. Blood matted Catra’s fur down her back, her white capelet stained in red. The uniform was slashed in several places, frayed edges dusted with brown stains, and the stench of death cloaked Catra’s entire body. It turned Adora’s stomach but still she knelt beside the bed, running her fingers down Catra’s arm to her wrist. Her pulse thundered beneath Adora’s fingertips. _Here, here, here._

“Yeah,” Bow agreed, eyes only on Adora. Adora didn’t notice. “I’ll go grab some blankets.” He placed the rag back into the bowl at his feet and stood, walking towards the door. He paused at the doorway and looked over his shoulder, still watching Adora.

“Adora,” he said, voice gentle. Adora turned, not even bothering to hide the tears in her eyes. He gave her a knowing smile, and nodded.

With that, he left the room.

—-

Adora didn’t even notice that Bow took an extraordinarily long time to return with blankets. Once he’d left the room, she immediately started cutting Horde Prime’s uniform off of Catra’s body with the utmost care. The uniform peeled off in a thick film of dried blood and white vinyl, and it made Adora want to retch. She _was_ comforted by the sight of Catra’s healed body beneath, albeit with blood matted into her fur in patches.

Using the same bowl Bow had left behind, Adora began wiping dried blood and dirt from Catra’s body. She ignored the burning in her feet as fatigue started yelling at her from within. Catra was her only priority right now.

Catra remained still, only offering breath and the occasional twitch to Adora for comfort. It was enough.

_She had been too still in her arms. No breath. No warmth. No movement. Nothing, nothing, nothing._

Catra let out a sigh as Adora ran up her arm with the rag.

_“Adora—” Bow had started when she knelt on the floor. His voice cracked. “Adora, she’s—”_

_Adora had ignored him. She pulled Catra into her arms, into her lap, bloodied and bruised and beaten. Her lips were parted, eyes closed as if in gentle sleep. She was too heavy, too cold._

_“C’mon, Catra. You’re not done yet,” Adora had said. Instructed. Demanded. Begged?_

When Adora ran the rag up her cheek and into her shaggy hair, Catra turned her head, eyelashes fluttering. Adora crouched beside her, her hand frozen in her hair.

Catra’s eyes opened. Adora’s ankles gave way and she fell to her back on the floor, her legs screaming at her to _sit down._ She ignored them and knelt beside Catra’s bed.

“Catra?” she murmured. Catra’s eyes, half-lidded and cloudy, tried to focus on Adora.

“…’ora?” Catra mumbled in response. Adora shifted closer to the bed, and placed her hand on Catra’s cheek.

“I’m right here,” Adora whispered. “I’m right here, Catra. I’m right here.” Adora’s heart was pounding in her chest, so hard she was sure Catra could hear. “You’re safe here.” Catra let the ghost of a smile grace her cheeks before closing her eyes again, still facing Adora. Relief flooded Adora’s veins once more. She was dizzy with it. 

_Catra. Her Catra._ She both loved and hated the way it sounded when Horde Prime said it. 

“Did she wake up?” Bow said suddenly from the doorway, blankets in his arms. Adora turned away from Catra to face him as he re-entered, carefully stepping over the discarded uniform by the foot of the bed. “I heard you talking from the hallway.”

“She did,” Adora said, her smile so big it hurt her cheeks. “She went back to sleep but she’s… okay.” The last word was a whisper of relief. Bow’s shoulders sagged, his own adrenaline rush finally ebbing. 

“You did quite the number on her clothes,” Bow remarked, regarding the pile. “Here.” Bow unfolded one of the blankets and carefully draped it over Catra’s body, covering her from the waist down.

“Thanks, Bow,” Adora said, taking the other blanket from him. She climbed onto unsteady feet, stepping backwards as she regained her balance. Bow watched with concern.

“Adora,” he said, “you need to rest yourself.” 

“I’m fine,” Adora insisted. “She-Ra healed us both. My injuries are gone.” Bow didn’t hide his frustrated sigh as Adora folded the second blanket into a pillow, sliding it beneath Catra’s head. Her face was still turned, expression plain. Neutral. Natural. Sweet. Charming. So many, many things that Adora didn’t think she’d ever be able to express again. Adora trailed her hand to Catra’s neck, against her pulse one more. _Here, here, here_ it responded. _Here, here, here._

“You know that’s _not_ what I mean,” Bow said, arms crossed over his chest. “ _Adora._ You look like you’re about to collapse.” Adora removed her fingers from Catra’s neck, brushing Catra’s cheek as she brought her hands to her sides. Finally, she met Bow’s stern gaze.

“I know,” she said, much to Bow’s surprise. Her voice was suddenly strained, as if she had just been yelling. “I know. I just--” She looked down at Catra again. “I couldn’t until I was sure.” 

“Adora,” Bow said, uncrossing his arms, “It’s okay to rest, remember?” Adora bit her lower lip, her legs trembling. In a moment, Bow was beside her, his hands on her arms, pulling her into his chest. 

“It’s okay,” Bow whispered as she buried her face into his shoulder, her knees giving way. They both collapsed to the floor, Adora wrapping her arms around Bow’s lower back. 

The fatigue and relief that had been building in Adora finally gave way, flooding out through tears into Bow’s shoulders and pain in her body. The tears came so freely she was silent, just gasping in air where she could. Bow rubbed her back, holding her up, the support she needed. 

“It’s okay,” Bow whispered again into her hair. “It’s okay.” 

\---

Adora woke what felt like hours later. 

She had allowed Bow to walk her into the room they’d been sleeping in, where he tucked her into the makeshift bed. She was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow, the fatigue finally taking over completely. 

She was still bone-tired, but didn’t feel the weight of distressed exhaustion anymore. As her vision cleared, she saw a bottle of water on the floor beside her. She drank it gratefully in one long gulp, her throat raw. She laid back down, taking deep breaths, as she let the rest of her waken. 

_How long have I been out? How close are we to getting home? Was anyone watching Catra? When--_

“Catra!” Adora cried, shooting up straight in the bed. She was met with a sharp pain in her head and a dizziness she couldn’t shake, although it didn’t stop her from attempting to stand. She stumbled but made it to the doorway before Glimmer intervened.

“Adora! You’re awake!” she exclaimed as Adora tumbled out of the doorway. Glimmer caught Adora before she hit the floor, and steadied the both of them. “Where are _you_ going in such a hurry?”

“Catra,” Adora said, her voice gaining clarity. “I want to see Catra.”

“She’s still sleeping,” Glimmer said as they walked. “Which is what _you_ should be doing, too.”

“It feels like I’ve been sleeping forever,” Adora said, walking straighter. Her legs didn’t feel as wobbly as when she first stood up, and the burning in her feet had subsided. Glimmer chuckled.

“You’ve only been asleep for a few hours,” she explained, “but you do seem better. Catra’s room is over here.” The door opened and the pair stepped into the room. What had been brightly lit before was now dusky, illuminated only by a patchwork of crystals that adorned the walls. Catra’s back was to them, partially curled into the blanket-pillow Adora had constructed earlier. Adora could see her breathing was steady, and the tip of her tail was swishing back and forth across the sheets. 

Adora released Glimmer and walked over to the bed, scowling at the chip still embedded into her neck. She rounded the head so she could see Catra’s face.

Catra’s arms were curled up by her chest, one of her hands resting against her cheek. She was deeply asleep, but her brow was furrowed and her ears were twitching. Adora reached out and placed her hand against Catra’s exposed neck. _Here, here, here,_ her pulse said. 

“She’s been having nightmares, or… something,” Glimmer said as she brought over a stool for Adora to sit on. “Bow brought this in here for you,” Glimmer explained as Adora looked at the stool in confusion. “If you’re not going to sleep, you might as well sit.” Adora relented, and gratefully sat down. As she did so, she leaned to the side against Glimmer, closing her eyes.

“Thanks,” Adora said. Glimmer rubbed Adora’s back.

“We figured you sitting here was better than you standing,” Glimmer responded. Adora smiled to herself.

“No, I mean-- thanks. For going back,” Adora said. “For helping me get her back.” 

_“Your Catra,” Horde Prime snarled._

_Yes_ , she thought. _My Catra._

“Of course,” Glimmer said. Adora opened her eyes and was met with Catra’s ear twitching in their direction, as if she was listening. 

“Keep us updated,” Glimmer said after a moment, “and when you feel strong enough, come to the bridge. We need to get back to Etheria -- _all_ of us.” Adora nodded and Glimmer gave her one last squeeze before walking to the doorway. Glimmer turned to see Adora reach out and gently run her fingers through Catra’s hair, eyes soft as she looked at her sleeping form. Catra’s tail curled into her calf at Adora’s touch. 

Glimmer smiled, and left the two of them alone. 


End file.
